The Adventures of being a mommy....




Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Our journey with Evangeline Joy!

 Hi Friends & Family!

This is the first time that I am actually speaking out to everyone other than our close family & friends. I have had a lot of people ask me over the last few months what was going on with our little baby and how things are. Most of the time I would give just a short answer and move on because it is too hard to talk about and to repeat myself over and over again. So, here goes our story from a few months ago to the present time.

Josh and I along with our moms went to our 20 week check up to find out the baby's gender. Like any other couple we were like 'boy or girl'...soooo exciting! I really never cared what the gender was. I also wanted one of each, so to me I just wanted to hear who this little person was and finally speak the name and go shopping! No one ever told me that the tech would go over ALL the body parts and organs. I guess like any other person I would just ASSUME that of course all of the organs would be there. Josh and I had a book that we read weekly about 'what was growing & how to pray for your baby'....So, we were in the room for not even 2 mins when the tech stopped and said 'I need to go and get your doctor'. I thought 'how odd is that'. The doctor came in and looked at our baby and shook her head and said 'I see no kidneys or bladder', did your water break?' I told them no. They stopped the process and referred us to the hospital that next day for another ultrasound. I went all night drinking more than 15 glasses of water and going to the bathroom on the hour due to thinking that would bring back the fluid for my baby. Not thinking correctly in knowing that with no kidneys or bladder there will never be any anionic fluid for my baby. Let's just say I got no sleep that night!!

We woke up and went to the hospital  for our 2nd ultrasound. The tech was very thorough and looked for 45 mins trying hard to find little organs. After looking she went and got the head doctor and brought him back to us. He gently sat us down and told us the news that NO PARENT should EVER hear. 'After looking closely with your baby and barring a miracle your baby will not make it after birth'. BAM a punch in the face. I literally stopped breathing. The room was spinning and the 4 of us just sat there crying. Needless to say I don't remember too much for the coming weeks after that. I remember that a min felt like and hour. Time stood still. Josh took charge like most men would and made calls and emailed family and friends. Josh quickly became my rock, my voice and my protector. I didn't want to talk to anyone. So, maybe this will make sense to some of you, why I didn't talk or wasn't seen around for a while. My heart was broken. Nothing to say. I can also tell you that yes, right now I am more talkative, I have my days that I want to talk and be seen and I have those that I don't. That's completely normal. I can be honest and say with what we are facing that there will be a time again that I may be that person that doesn't want to talk. It's not going to be easy folks!!  I will tell you all that EVERY text, email and facebook that came in warmed my heart and made us feel so loved and supported.In the future PLEASE keeps those coming! They are what got us through the day along with all the prayers!

 From that day on my life has completely changed for many reasons. When you get hit with news such as ours, it will quickly make you think about how you live your life. I will NEVER take life for granted again. I never took this pregnancy for granted because it's a miracle and a life. But I took everyday things for granted that I now see differently. Also, my personal relationship with my Lord and Savior has changed. I have been a Christian since I was 14 yrs old. This experience has made me change every bit of how I view Him, love Him, talk to Him and want Him. He is my peace. I honestly do not know what people do in difficult times without God. I just cannot fathom it.

So, 10 weeks later and a roller coaster of a life here we are. Today we went in for my 30 week ultrasound and we were ready to meet our little kicker. I already knew going in that the baby was a girl. Just bonding with my baby I could feel it. Mommy's intuition! For the past 10 weeks there hasn't been a day where I haven't prayed/beg the Lord to heal my child. I was really trying to keep an open mind knowing that the diagnosis would probably be the same but was praying for a miracle. The same tech in the same small room that we were in months ago looked and pushed and poked at us. The diagnosis  is still the same. She came to the conclusion that since there was still a lack of fluid/and movement with the legs, she didn't see a 'boy part' and was able to tell that we are having a GIRL. Sweet little Evangeline Joy Wilcox. Who Mommy and Daddy love very much and enjoy all the time that we have with her. Not taking a second for granted and loving all of her movements. So, without further ado.... introducing our Princess Evangeline...






Before you were conceived, I  wanted you, Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life. - Maureen Hawkins


Please stay tune for more of my blogs to come! It a great way for me to talk to everyone and to keep all up to date and if you all know of any woman that is going through something similar that needs someone to talk to or just needs encouragement then send them my way. Lots of love!

49 comments:

  1. Oh Sweetie. I love you.

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  2. i love you katie and i've been praying for you every day. i've wanted to call so many times but i don't want to force you to talk about something so hard so i haven't. know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and whenever you want to talk, i'm here!

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  3. Katie, I LOVE the name you've chosen...such a beautiful name for such a gift from God. Ben and I pray for you, Josh, and little Evangeline daily. While we have grieved this news along with you, we have also rejoiced in the Father at the precious gift of this life. And we are amazed at how He is working in your life through the pain of these last few months. Your faith in Him through this is a testimony and encouragement to us! We love you, and are so thankful for all three of you!

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  4. Love you so much Katie. What a perfect name for your precious babe! I love her to pieces!

    And after reading your first post, I think the title of your blog is perfect ;)

    Praying for you, Josh, and baby E.J! :)

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  5. Oh my heart goes out to all 3 of you. What a testimony God has given your family. A way to touch so many lives that might not know God. Our Lord and Savior works in ways we will never understand,but we all know that he is doing wonders through your family of 3. Evangeline Joy is and will always be a blessing to us all. My family is praying/thinking of each of you daily. May God continue to keep each of you close to his heart through these hard days ahead. We love all three of you. God Bless , Billy , Rebekah, and Hiett White

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  6. Katie & Josh,

    What a beautiful name.....Evangeline Joy- Angel of Good News & Merriment. Her photos I'm sure don't do her beauty justice but we can imagine...your smile and Josh's eyes. Chad and I have you in our hearts and talk often to God about you; we loved seeing you both and talking with you.....you gave us hope & strength for our own journey. Know that we love you both and pray for you daily.

    Jeremiah 29:11

    Prayers & Blessings....Chad, Lora & Eli

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  7. You are so brave and I am so very proud of you, Katie! Thank you so much for sharing. I can't imagine how difficult it all must be. Prayers for Princess Evangeline, you, Josh and family. Love to all!

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  8. I've thought of you all many times since hearing about your heartbreaking news. Please know that Randy & I are praying for you & Josh & little Evangeine! I can only imagine how hard this must be for you all but I'm glad to see you are keeping your Faith in Him & using your situation to reach out to others. Always remember-He has a plan & a reason for everything! We love you all & will continue to keep you in our thoughts & prayers.
    Randy & Rachel

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  9. We have been praying nonstop for you and Joshua and this little baby girl. Evangeline Joy is such a perfect name for your sweet princess. Just know we are here for you, love you, and admire the strength it took for you to type this. We miss you guys.

    Love,
    Missy, Kenny, Lucas and Elijah Courts

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  10. This is so sweet Katie. I am so sad for you but do believe in miracles and will continue to pray for you and Josh. I am glad you are starting this blog and are celebrating this life. You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers. Love you guys.
    Kristy

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  11. Katie & Josh-
    I love the name you picked out for your beautiful baby girl. I am keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers. Love you to pieces.
    Cindy Stamper

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  12. Katie, thank you for sharing your heart and your journey. I know what you mean when you say God is your peace. He's is in control and He's good, even when situations are so very hard to understand. I leaned on that knowledge SO hard when everything happened with JW. I also loved the verse in mark 9--I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief! I am praying for you and Josh and little Evangeline! Love you! Kristy

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  13. Katie, you don't know me, but I used to go to FBCR and heard about your situation from Jim and Lisa. I have had your family on my heart since I first heard about what was happening, and I think of you often. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to deal with this, and I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you guys!

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  14. Phyllis R. WilcoxJune 15, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    Katie and Josh, You probably don't remember me but my husband Mike was Josh's dad's cousin. I want to share with you the Unity Prayer of Protection:
    "The Light of God surrounds you, the Love of God enfolds you, The Power of God protects you, and the Presence of God watches over you. Wherever you are, God is, and all is well."
    Love to you all.

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  15. Crying so hard as I'm reading this. God is good but life can be so hard. I love your little girl. I will not stop praying for you. God is our rock, He is our peace, sustainer, comforter and healer.
    Beautiful name, precious little girl.
    Ps 91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

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  16. Katie- I'm still praying that God shows your doctors in a mighty way what He can do!!! I'm praying for a miracle.

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  17. Hey Josh and Katie,

    Every time you guys come to my mind, I ask God to reveal Himself to you in the most intimate way. It's clear to me by reading this blog, that He has done just that. I love you guys and hope you know that you are not alone, because we are holding you up in prayer.

    Your friend,

    Jay Smith

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  18. Katie -

    I am so blessed by reading your words and hearing your heart. Precious Evangeline Joy (LOVE her sweet name!!) has been known since before there was time, and it is so beautiful to see how she is already such a blessing to you and Josh. Love to all three of you!! We continue to pray for peace, comfort, and for this sweet, sweet little girl.

    Love you guys!

    Kristian Howe

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  19. We love you guys! Know we are here & are praying.
    <3, Deb Kaya

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  20. Words are never easy in situations like this. Please know that you are loved beyond measure and prayed for daily. Father is carrying you and when you dont think you can do one more minute He gets you through. Evangeline Joy's life is a wonderful gift. All our love,

    Raeford, Kelly, Titus, Ryan and Bryce

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  21. Katie, I am a member of FBCR. When Jim shared your story with us, it brought back memories of dear friends, who, years ago, went through a very similar situation. Like you and Josh, they were very strong Christians and, though they did not understand, they trusted God to guide them and strengthen them through it. Keep the faith and enjoy the time with little Evangeline Joy as she grows inside you, she knows you love her. What a testimony you have in her. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

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  22. Brent and I continue to pray for you and Josh and your sweet Evangeline Joy! She is truly a gift from God, and we pray that He will keep you in the center of His hand. We are grieving with you and love you both!!! Jen Raitz

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  23. Wow!!! Thank you all so much for all of your beautiful messages! We are so blessed to have so many awesome friends & family! My heart is so warmed by all the love that everyone is showing our little EJ! She is loved so much! Josh & I have suched mixed emotions and it's been very hard on us. I just cannot picture my life without her! Please continue to pray for peace! We know God is so good and that He will pull us through. It will still be so hard! We love you all & are more then happy to share our story to you. God Bless! - Josh, Katie & Evangeline

    PS. I have no idea why our names aren't showing up on this post. My account has me logged out when I'm on my blog post. When I sign it, I only can view my home page. :/ If anyone can help me out with this, that would be great!

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  24. K-Dub, your name is showing! It says, "Katie Wilcox said..."

    I think your computer is playing tricks on you! :P
    Love you

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  25. Rebecca PuralewskiJune 16, 2011 at 9:58 PM

    After reading this first blog, my heart goes out to you and Josh. I am praying for you, Josh and Evangeline Joy daily and that God would perform a miracle in this difficult situation. I love you guys!

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  26. Katie & Josh,
    Thank you for sharing with us your day to day journey through it all. We are still praying for a miracle for your baby. What a beautiful name for a beautiful little baby girl. Just keep the faith and God will pull you through this difficult time in your lives. We love you guys. Linda Cull

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  27. I don't know what to say. I have you three in my prayers. God bless you.

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  28. God is going to use Princess Evangeline to bring Him so much glory. I know that. He's using you even now. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  29. Katie,

    I'm not sure if you've read our story, but your words so take me back to the day when we heard our Thomas had Potter's Syndrome...the day we first heard the words incompatible with life. Those are words no parent should ever hear. Thank you for sharing your sweet Evangeline with us. And, please know that the same loving God who carried Angie through her journey, and carried me through mine...will also carry you. Keep clinging to Him...and when you are too weak to hold on...He will hold on to you.

    Praying for you and your family...

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  30. Katie, I'm so sorry you had to hear those terrible words. It is so devastating. My daughter Carleigh was given a fatal diagnosis at 22 1/2 weeks of anencepahly. This road has much sorrow but it also a lot of joy. I pray that you find more joy than sorrow. You're already doing the right thing by leaning on God for comfort. He is the only One who will never let you down.

    Make memories and take lots of pictures while you are still carrying her. Do a weekend getaway. We went on a family vacation just days after Carleigh's diagnosis and I'm so glad we did. Not only did we come back feeling better but we have the memories of that time forever.

    I hope you can connect with moms like Kelly who have had the same diagnosis. That really helped me connecting w/ other anen moms and other moms who carried to term.

    Sending you much love and prayers. My email is caring4carleigh@yahoo.com if you ever need to talk to someone who understands.

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  31. Hi Katie, I am coming over from Walking with You. We lost our son Eli 1 year and 4 months ago to Potter's Syndrome. I connected with your blog post so completely! Please know that I am praying for you and your husband and that sweet baby girl! If you ever need to talk you can email me at lcjhill@yahoo.com.

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  32. Hi Katie,I am coming from Walking With you! Kelly's ministry has been such a Blessing to me! I wanted you to know that I am praying for you! I know this is a very difficult road, but having the Lord on your side is the only way I believe we can make it! He will see you through! I love the name you have chosen for her!

    We lost our daughter, Faith Evangeline on October 28,2008. She had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and later we found out she had Turner's Syndrome.

    (((Hugs))) and Prayers,
    Karen

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  33. Holly, Jennifer and Karen- I am so sorry for your losses! It is so hard to comprehend the loss of a child! I have heard so many heart breaking stories sense we found out about Evangeline. Thank you all for reading my blogs and I know that I will continue to need the support as do you all! It's not and easy road.

    -Karen, love Faith's middle name! Isn't it neat that in the middle of the name EvANGELine...so fitting!

    Please keep in touch ladies as I will with you! My email is kjwilcox06@hotmail.com or you can also find me on Facebook.

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  34. Holly- Thank you as well for sharing your story! I checked out your blog and it is beautiful!

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  35. Katie-

    I am also visiting from Kelly's walking with you blog. My son, Nate was diagonosed with a major heart defect at our 20 week ultrasound and my life was completely flipped upside down. Sadly, he moved to Heaven after 25 days of fighting here on Earth. I didn't know that this blogging world existed until a year after his death. I found so much support here and it really helped me to know that I wasn't alone and it felt good to be "understood" and not judged.

    Please know that there are so many of us mommy's out there and we will do whatever we can to support you.

    Hugs,
    Trisha

    ps- I am having trouble with blogger and it will only let me comment as "anynonomous" but my blog is lookingforbluesky.blogspot.com

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  36. Hi Katie,
    I'm here from Sufficient Grace Blog as well. I'm so sorry you have to walk this road, but please know you are not alone. The Lord is with you every step of the way. My name is Mattie and I have two beautiful babies in Heaven. One of my babies was taken unexpectedly and the other was diagnosed with a heart condition at 17 weeks.
    I agree with what Holly said, make as many memories as you can and take lots of photos.

    If you ever need anyone to talk to, please know I am here.

    beautywillrise@yahoo.com
    http://www.blessedbycreativejoy.blogspot.com

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  37. Hi Katie...stopping by from Sufficient Grace!

    I remember the day I received the worst news in my life. My daughter was diagnosed with a fatal dwarfism. I still wonder how I made it through to her birth!

    I will be thinking and praying for you as you embark on this journey. It is a tough one, but in so many ways, my baby girl was the BEST thing to ever happen to me!

    boysbuttonsandbutterflies@gmail.com
    http://www.boysbuttonsandbutterflies.blogspot.com

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  38. Hi Katie,
    I am friends with Kelly from Sufficient Grace and read about your story through her blog. I have not lost a baby, but care deeply about, and pray for those who have. I can only imagine how difficult it must be, and like you, wonder how people without faith in God can make it through something like this. With heartfelt and caring blogs like yours, hopefully others going through similar situations will learn about God and how big He is. Thank you for sharing your difficult story, and I will pray for you and your family.
    Blessings,
    Stephanie

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  39. Hi Katie,
    I wanted to echo what Holly said. This journey is hard, but so rewarding. Our son Haven was diagnosed with anencephaly at 12 weeks. We enjoyed every kick and wiggle until the Lord took him Home. He was born still at 32 weeks. I will be praying for you and your family.
    Andi Soergel

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  40. I'm stopping by from Sufficient Grace and want you to know that I join so many others in praying for you. May you feel God's presence now and in the days ahead.

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  41. coming over from walking with you. praying for your family during this time.

    Isaiah 43:1-3

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  42. also a reader from Sufficient Grace..praying for His loving arms to hold you as you and your husband and family make this difficult journey.

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  43. Hi Katie, I come to you from Sufficient Grace. Just wanted to let you know that you and your family. Just know that you are not walking this road alone. You have God and plenty of women on here that have been down this road.

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  44. Here from SGM - just wanted to let you know that you have chosen a beautiful name for your baby. I'm sorry for the negative doctor's reports - we can hope & pray for a miracle!
    I lost my little girl many years ago to prematurity. She is still very much a part of my heart. I have come to have a peace about her.
    I know you realize you are not alone, that God holds you in the palm of His hand.
    Hugs,
    Sarita Boyette
    http://ourperfectrose.blogspot.com/
    sboyette@tx.rr.com

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  45. Katie, I'm here from Sufficient Grace as well and wanted to send you my love and prayers for this journey you are walking with your husband. God can do all things, and I pray your daughter will be living proof of his miracles and that you find peace as you wait for his plans to unfold. I hope you find the support and comfort you need (I'm sure you will) in this community of women. Our stories are all different, but we all know what it is like to grieve for a child and to hope for a miracle. I wish you this miracle.

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  46. Lord, I pray right now for Katie and her family. We CRY OUT to You! We pray for a miracle for baby Evangeline. Hold this family tight as you walk them through this journey. Unite Katie and Josh in their marriage. Bring encouraging, listening, people into their lives to support and hold them, to continually lift them up in prayer to You. You are a big God and so we come before You with tears, aching hearts, and a big prayer. Thank you for the miracle that Evangeline is already and for whatever story you have written for her future!

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  47. Katie,

    I am so so sorry to read about your precious daughter. I can feel how much you love her through your words. I just love her name! I have a little boy named Isaiah, who passed away almost three years ago. It has been the greatest loss of my life. It's beautiful to read how you are bonding with your daughter. Please know that we are all here with you in heart and spirit, and the grace of God will carry you through every minute of this journey. You and your husband are in my prayers....

    ~Jennifer Ross~

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  48. Katie and Josh and family,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I went to school with Josh and I was heartbroken to hear of what you've been through. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My husband and I lost a child during the early stages of pregnancy and I still cannot fathom what you're feeling. Just know that there are so many people praying for you and hurting for you and hoping that you can find some comfort in the storm. I'm so, so sorry for your pain.

    In Christ,
    Megan Blevins-Fitzwater

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