The Adventures of being a mommy....

Friday, November 18, 2011

Sad but true...Infant loss Facts

Infant Loss

Borrowed from Pray Without Ceasing (who came across it on another blog). There is a lot of truth in this that I think it's important for people to hear.

Infant loss is nature's cruelest practical joke. It's investing all of the required time and effort into pregnancy, only to be robbed of the result. It's cradling a body that grew within your own and trying to reconcile the cold, lifeless form in your arms with your memory of the baby who turned double flips in your womb.

It's worrying that you'll forget what your child looked like and snapping an album's worth of photos that no one will ever ask to see. It's sobbing so hard you can't breathe and wondering if it's possible to cry yourself to death.

Infant loss is handing off a Moses basket to the nurse who's drawn the unfortunate duty of delivering your pride and joy to the morgue and walking out of a hospital with empty arms.

It's boxing up brand new baby clothes and buying a 24-inch casket. It's sifting through sympathy cards, willing your foolish body to stop lactating, clutching your baby's blanket to your chest in hopes of soothing the piercing ache in your heart.

It's resisting the urge to smack the clueless individuals who compare your situation to the death of their dog or who tell you you'll have another baby, as if children are somehow replaceable.

Infant loss is explaining to your 7-year-old that sometimes babies die and being stumped into silence when she asks you why. It's watching other families live out your happy ending and fighting a fresh round of grief with every milestone you miss.

It's being shut out of play groups for perpetuity. It's skipping social events with expectant and newly minted mothers because, as a walking worst-case scenario, you don't want to put a damper on the party.

It's listening to other women gripe about motherhood and realizing that you no longer relate to their petty parental complaints because, frankly, when you've buried a baby, a sleepless night with a vomiting toddler sounds something like a gift.

Infant loss is pruning from your life the friends and relatives who ignore or minimize your loss. It's recognizing that, while they may not mean to be hurtful, the fact that they don't know any better doesn't make their utter lack of empathy one whit easier to bear.

My baby girl would have been 5 years old this month. I don't know what she'd look like, what her favorite food would be. I've never had the privilege of tucking her into bed, taking her to the zoo or kissing her boo-boos. I will never watch her graduate or walk down the aisle.

Infant loss is more than an empty cradle. It's a life sentence.

(Laura Schubert of New Berlin is a mother, teacher and two-time breast cancer survivor).

Monday, November 14, 2011

Beating Hearts

Hi Everyone! I was reading a fellow Mommy's blog the other day and I came across this sign. I knew I had to have it! The day before reading this I was talking to Josh about EJ's heartbeat and how strong it was. Every appointment we went to her heart rate was 177 or 165. Josh and I this past year for Valentine's Day went to Build A Bear to make EJ her own bear with a recording of her heartbeat. That is something that is so precious to me to have now. I will always know what it sounded like. When I went to make up my blog I thought for days on what I should call it. One day it dawned on me "Two Hearts". It's for hers and mine. How I loved to hear her little beating heart,and the entire time she was being soothed by mine. Carrying a child is the most precious gift a woman can ever receive physically. EVER!! Never take for granted ladies, the fact that you can conceive and carry a healthy child. It is a blessing and a miracle! :)