The Adventures of being a mommy....

Thursday, September 13, 2012

A letter of love to my little Shepard...

Dear Shepard Joshua,

This time tomorrow you, your Daddy and I will be at the hospital and getting to know each other more. I cannot believe that I've carried you for 39 weeks! That's 273 days! I have loved every minute carrying you. There were times in the very beginning I was afraid and holding onto hope that you would stay with me. I was looking through a text with a friend back in February that I had to cancel our dinner because I was on a slight bed rest with you. I prayed and prayed that God will let me keep you. I did whatever I could down here to make my womb a comfortable home for you. When we found out at 16 weeks that all was going well with you and that you looked healthy it was the best day for us! I knew you were a little fighter. :) Looking back from the beginning with you to the day before I go in for our c section I cry. Good tears that is. To be blessed with a healthy baby that moves non stop amazes me. I don't take it for granted that I got to carry you this far. I must admit that I'm a little sad that my time carrying you in my womb is almost over. I'm eating up every moment of this time. I know seeing your face tomorrow, I'll forget all about those feelings but if it gives you any inkling of how much I love and wanted you then there it is. :)

There are so many people that cannot wait to meet you! Family and friends are coming to the hospital to get a glimpse of you. You are so loved! You're room is ready, bags are packed and car seat that has been in the car for a few weeks. We are as ready as two people could be to bring home a baby.

Your Daddy and I have been and will continue to pray for you. Your health, happiness and life are so important to us. We pray that we will raise you to be a Godly man, who loves the Lord with all of his heart and serves Him only. If you have even an ounce of your Daddy in you (though I know you'll be half of him) I won't worry a bit about who you'll be in the future. Your Daddy is a loving, gentle and God fearing man. He works hard to provide for us. He is loyal to me and all people around us. I pray you look up to him and become his best buddy. :) He is so excited to meet you!

I love you so much my sweet boy! I look forward to seeing you tomorrow! It will be a wonderful day! As I see you tomorrow I will also think of your beautiful sister Evangeline Joy. She will be with us in spirit. You already know a bit about her from our stories we have told you. She will always be a part of our lives. She is your "big" sis! :)

Praying for our day tomorrow! Your save journey into our arms and the guidnce of the doctor's hands.

Love you always and forever,

Your Mommy

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Our Little Piece of America...

Hey Friends!

I'm typing to you all as I get ready for the task of packing. We are so excited about the new chapter in our life's with Shepard coming in 9 weeks or less and our first house! Josh and I have been home owners of a sweet condo for 6 yrs. We have loved our little place. :) We bought it foreclosed and did all the handy work pretty much by ourselves. We have had so many memories here. It has been a great place of peace and comfort to us. Our little deck over looks a large pond with cute ducks and geese...a lovely place to spend time with the Lord and or just to daze off into the nature He created. I will miss a lot here. We have been blessed to have found a sweet little family to come and rent our condo. We are truly excited about it! We know that they too are excited and that they will take excellent care of our home. :) They too can start making great memories here and continue on new stories for it to have.

The next month will be a whirlwind with moving into our new home and all the renovations we'll be doing. This one is a fixer upper too but who else would love a project like this? US! :) You have to be a visionary with this place. Josh and I are that couple that can see the diamond in the rough and can turn it into something absolutely beautiful. As Josh already says "It is already beautiful we are just making it even more so". The good part on a fixer upper is that you can design and create things the way you want them to be. We have been so patient in this process (all thanks be to God for that). ;) It will be nice to have our first house and one that we will grow into, not out of. I can't wait to bring Shepard home from the hospital to his house with his room. Starting new memories and with our little family is so exciting to me. It's been a crazy past year but we give God all the glory for the good and the bad. It has made us stronger and appreciate more of life and the little things that can be taken for granted.

I just wanted to update all of our friends that have been asking questions on our move. Not sure that I'll get the chance to blog anytime soon but I would love to share our before and after pictures when it's all said and done. Please keep us in your all's prayers as we navigate through these new and wonderful changes. I know it can be crazy doing all of this stuff right before giving birth but we want to keep a good and positive outlook on it. :)

I pray that all of you that read my blog are well! You guys are awesome! Even if we have never met, I think you're awesome! Blessings on you all!


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby Girl!

Dearest Evangeline Joy,

Today is your 1st birthday! I cannot believe that it's been a full year sense I last laid eyes on you and held you in my arms. For a parent this is the saddest thing possible. We miss you every single day, all 365 of them. It's been a tough year on us and your passing was the hardest part of it all. For we don't have the answers as to why you aren't with us to celebrate and eat cake and all of the fun things that families do at birthdays. The only thing that we do know in our hearts is that our God had bigger plans for you in Heaven. He wanted you. That's the only comfort that Mommy and Daddy get is that you are with Him and He is the greatest caregiver. We celebrated your life on Sunday. I wanted to make the day as special as I could. I even baked a cake for you! (Mommy hasn't done that sense your Grandma turned the BIG 4-0)! So, it was a big deal to say the least. ;) We all went out to your site and released balloons with special messages on them. I would like to think that maybe you could have gotten a tiny glimpse of the love for you that we all down here have. It was hard for both of us this morning. Daddy went to work for a few hours but came home to be with me, so we could have this time together just the two of us. Mommy didn't want to get out of bed, to tell you the truth. I checked my phone and had so many messages of love and support for us, that along with your precious brother, Shepard kicking me got me up and going. It was a sweet reminder of how great is our God for blessing us with Shepard. It made me cry out with thanksgiving for his life and for the time that I had with you in my belly just last year. Mommy and Daddy went out and spent time at your site for a while this afternoon. God gave us such a beautiful day to just sit and be still. We talked a lot about this past year, our growth, your life and the many questions we have for God when we get up to Heaven. Good conversation. Mommy and Daddy love you so so much! You will always be our first born, our sweet girl and the apple of our eye. You will never be forgotten in life. Your siblings will know all about you.

Happy Earthly and Heavenly Birthday, Princess Evangeline!

Love forever and Always,


Here is a few pics from your party...

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Father's Day and thoughts...

Hey Friends and a Happy Father's Day to any Dad's reading this! :)

I've been thinking a lot this week on Father's Day and just reflecting back on life in general. Last Father's Day I was 31 weeks along with Evangeline and not knowing that the next weekend I would be in labor with her.We surely miss her all the time and even this past Mother's Day going into tomorrow it doesn't feel the same with out her here to celebrate along with us, For she is the first one to have given us the honor to have the titles "Mommy and Daddy". As I was doing my "thinking & reflecting" I thought how happy I am for Shepard who is (growing well in his temporary home) about how lucky he will be to have such an awesome earthly father in Josh. I could literally brag all day about my husband. :) Honestly though, Josh has been excited just as much as I about Shepard and being able to raise him. He already talks about what they'll do together in the way future. Josh is a Godly man that strives everyday and I mean EVERYDAY to be the best person, man, husband, son, brother and father. He is thoughtful, loving, compassionate for others and willing to serve at all times. I'm so blessed to have married someone that will be an excellent dad and someone that our son can and will look up to in the future. Thank you, Joshua James for being, well YOU! Evangeline, Shepard and I love you very much and are blessed that you are and have been a huge part of our lives.

  I love this pic with Josh with EJ. You cannot see much of him but you get the sweetness of it.   Evangeline resting in her Daddy's arms.

Now, to thank my Heavenly Father...

Lord, I love you so much! You have blessed me a lot in life. You have pulled me through some deep valleys in the past but you have never left me or forsaken me. I haven't always given you what you deserve back and I'm still a work in progress but I do desire to give all of me to you. My heart, soul and my life.Thank you for giving me life! Happy Father's Day to you! :)

Happy Father's Day to my Dad, my granddad's that are no longer with us to my Father in Law, Jim and Josh's PawPaw Elkins.

Father's love the fire out of your kids, no matter how young or old they are. I have learned through the last couple of years that we are kids, boy or girl get our identity though our earthy father. Pour into your kids lives. They are the biggest blessing that our Heavenly Father can give.  Invest!!

Till next time friends....


Thursday, May 10, 2012

He is ever faithful...

Hello All!

It's been a while sense my last post, still having a bit of writer's block but I'm working through it. :) I have such a praise report to share! Josh and I went for our 20 week ultra sound this past Tuesday and everything with little Shepard is still wonderful! I cannot express unless you have lived in my shoes, how happy and comforting it makes me feel to hear those words. The tech/nurse was the same on we had with Evangeline and I still to this day remember everything about that day. I remember her expression and her questions to me. I also remembered that I didn't ever want to see her face again. Nothing against her, just didn't want to go back. She was so sweet to us and so happy over the out come of Shepard. She would talk us through everything and she pointed and showed us all his little organs and his spine, etc. She counted his little heart chambers...all 4 of them! :)It makes me well up with tears to think how complex our bodies are and that he is ok and has everything he'll need. God has given us such a blessing to be able to take our son home and love the fire out of him. For Josh and I to be given this chance at being earthly parents is so wild to me. (A good wild). That's all we've ever wanted and God has answered that prayer and longing.I have to look back on my life in a year and what all we have gone through as a family. With Mother's Day coming up and remembering where I was last year it's just hard to believe. Last Mother's Day I hid from the world! This one I get to go to Babies R Us and register for boy items! This Mother's Day I will be celebrating the fact that I am a Mommy to a little girl and a little boy! I'd give anything to have Evangeline here with us. It would be crazy to have a baby with another one on the way but I would do it! I miss her so much. I think about her at least 10 or more times a day. I still sleep with her pink blanket every night. I'm so thankful that God chose me to be her Mommy. And that he has giving me the opportunity to have Shepard and getting to raise him in the Lord.

I want to wish all the mommies out there a very Happy Mother's Day!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Oh Happy Day!!

Hello Friend

As I type this I'm feeling my little man move around in my growing belly! God is so good! Shepard is still little '5 inches to be exact so I'm feeling flutters by him. :) To bring everyone up to baby date, I'm 17 weeks today. Josh and I kept this pregnancy under wraps for a bit and didn't make it full public till 14 weeks. It was actually nice and easy to keep it a secret. It was just for us and of course a bunch of times a day we would pray over this pregnancy. We knew going in that there was a 3% chance out of 100 that Potter's Syndrome wouldn't happen to us again. In the words of The Hunger Games "The odds were ever in our favor"! He knows the desires of our hearts, He places them there. We long to be parents here on Earth. Last Friday, which was Good Friday we went in for a ultra sound to see how things were going and just to have close monitoring through the pregnancy. As any mom reading this and have had to go through a horrible US it was nerve racking to say the least. I just prayed for peace and God's will over this baby. I prayed that everything would be in the body and working at 100%. Healthy and Happy was the name of the game that I cared to play. Within the first couple of minutes the tech said I had "great fluid"! I didn't want to assume anything but was so relieved to hear that. She scanned for 30 to 40 mins and said the most beautiful words to this Momma's ears "there are kidneys and there is the bladder"! All of us that were in the room just wept with joy to hear all of that. She kept scanning and I mentioned "I'm so glad that he or she is doing well so far". She said "would you like to know what the baby is". We said "yes"! She said "well, it's still early but it looks like the makings of a boy"! Then she said "oh, wait there IT is"! It's a BOY!! Shepard Joshua Wilcox! :) He is due September 21, 2012. I looked at Josh and said "Congrats, you are able to make girls and boys"! :) We are just so happy that he is healthy! That's ALL that really matters. It's amazing what goes into the making of babies. While reading daily about our little guy I have learned that all organs are held in the umbilical cord till they are ready to make their way down to their permanent spots. Hello!! Can we say we are all miracles?!!? To know that Shepard started off that way and that God sent those precious organs to be where they need to be is amazingly wonderful to me. Only He could do that!

                                                                   All BOY!

                                                          Shepard's sweet profile!

Us holding a pic of Shepard's BIG Sister, Evangeline. :) Sun what in our eyes!

I hope to get better about posting on here more often! I do ask that everyone continue to pray for Shepard. Pray for continued health and growth for him. I'm praying for all my Mommy friends that are pregnant with me. I always pray for health! I'm also in prayer to my friends that are trying. I ask that their wombs be blessed with healthy babies and SOON!

Love to all!!

Evangeline and Shepard's Mommy

Monday, February 27, 2012

Encouragement for all...

Hi Friends and Family!

It's been a couple of months sense my last blog. I've had a bit of writer's block. I got a gift from a friend of mine for Christmas, it is a devotional called "Jesus Calling; enjoying peace in His presence". I highly recommend everyone to pick up a copy if you do not have one or give one as a gift. I know that there are a lot of people out there that may be reading this that has had a hard time with life or may be going through something right now. Don't we all? As I have been thinking and praying for so many people this year I thought that for the next few weeks or however long that I will update this blog with words from Jesus Calling. Everyone needs encouragement daily, right? Most importantly we all need to draw closer to our Lord. He desires that from us.

February 27

KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME! Waves of adversity are washing over you, and you feel tempted to give up. As your circumstances consume more and more and more of your attention, you are losing sight of Me. Yet I am with you always, holding you by your right hand. I am fully aware of your situation, and I will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear.
      You gravest danger is worrying about tomorrow. If you try to carry tomorrow's burdens today, you will stagger under the load and eventually fall flat. You must discipline yourself to live within the boundaries of today. It is in the present moment that I walk close to you, helping you carry your burdens. Keep your focus on My Presence in that moment.

Scriptures for the day:

Psalm :73:23 and 1 Corinthians 10:13

Lots of Love!