The Adventures of being a mommy....




Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Delivery of our angel - Evangeline Joy Wilcox

What a whirlwind these past two weeks has been for us. In the early hours of June 25th I went into labor with EJ. I've  never known what a contraction felt like but was grateful that my friend told me the day before what one felt and looked like. I went into the bathroom and saw my belly in a tight ball and I felt the pain so I put two and two together and woke up Josh. We called our doctor and went on to the hospital. I've never been a patient in a hospital before- so needless to saythis was my first pretty hospital gown, IV and random painful checks by the nurses (you ladies know what I mean). As we were sitting there in our room we were thinking about who all was going to be out of town that weekend, Josh's parents, our Pastor, our photographer and our favorite doctor, we felt so overwhelmed. Little did we know that God was going to provide for all of those circumstances.  As people were starting to show up at the hospital, in walked our Pastor Terry, who was supposed to be on vacation.  This was following a phone call from our photographer, who was in a photoshoot, saying she was on her way. Josh's parents came, cancelling their out-of-town trip. And to top it all off, one of our favorite nurses, Jen, got ahold of our favorite OBGYN (who was also supposed to be going on vacation), and asked her to come.  GOD PROVIDES!!  As the day went on, I was not progressing.  I was dilated at 2 cm and we decided to stay overnight at the hospital.  Good thing, because the following morning, I was dilated at 5 cm and in alot of pain. 
    June 26th:
    We called all the family back in to the hospital and confirmed that today was the day.  As the day went on and kept progressing, at 05:38pm, after 37 hours of labor, we got to meet our sweet little baby, Evangeline Joy Wilcox.  She came out weighing 3 lbs 6.4 ounces and was 16 inches long.  We were very blessed to be able to hear her cry a few times, have her open her eyes a few times, and she stuck her toungue out a few times (a trait she picked up from her mommy).  She had very light hair and her eyes were greyish/blue and she was just perfect.  It was unbelievable to be able to hold this little baby that had been in my belly for 32 weeks.  I cuddled with her for her 45 minutes on earth and, while doing so, her daddy and I sang "Jesus Loves Me" and "Happy Birthday" and whispered sweet words into her ears.  As Josh would say, it was the most amount of Joy and the most amount of sorrow in one hour that we will probably ever experience.  After about 45 minutes, we realized that our little one had gone home to be with Jesus.  We called everybody back into the room and had a baby dedication.  When talking, our pastor said, "in one day, little Evangeline got to meet her mom, her dad, and her creator".  The hospital staff was great to us.  We were able to keep Evangeline as long as we liked.  Josh and I took turns through the night holding her.  I can remember falling asleep but waking myself up to the fact that my head was laying gently on top of hers.  There are no words I could type that would represent the love and passion I have for my child.  While I knew where Evangeline really was, I still felt connected to her through this little person in my arms.  It was one of the hardest moments of this process, but I was finally able to hand Evangeline over that Monday night. While we prepared for the funeral, so many thoughts and emotions ran through me.  What is she doing today?  Why is she not still with me?  How will I move on from this?  Will I ever get over this?  I never realized  how much you can miss someone and I long for  her daily.  I know she's in a much better place than this world, but I still ache for her. 
    June 30th.
A beautiful day.  I thought that Evangeline had given it to me.  We, as a family, got together with a few of our pastors and celebrated Evangeline Joy's life.  It was a beautiful service as we laid her to rest with my pawpaw Baston.  God provided a good amount of strength to Josh and I and enabling us to speak at her service.  Our family sang a song based on Psalm 23 along with poetry and finished with singing "It is Well". 
   After June 30th.
People call us "stong" and "faithful".  We get compliments on how we're handling losing our Evangeline.  I love the compliments but there are plenty of times that we feel so lost and confused.  There's nothing that prepares you for losing a child.  No amount of books or conversations can prepare you for feeling this.  The one thing that's provided us peace is knowing that our baby girl is with our loving Father, Jesus Christ.  There's also peace in knowing that I will see her again one day.  I am not bitter.  I am not mad at God.  Just heartbroken.  Healing comes over time.  Peace from God comes over time, as long as we turn to Him for that peace.  The following scripture was read at the service:

Romans 5:1-5

New International Version (NIV)

Romans 5

Peace and Hope
 1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

The following are some photos of our precious Evangeline.  She is a beauty;) .  At the bottom of the photos is a video collage put together by our good friend Loree Wheeler. 










19 comments:

  1. Beautifully written. I went to school with Alyssa and Josh and I am praying for your family every day. You are a very strong person and I praise that God has given you the strength, wisdom and love to handle the situation you are facing. Love and prayers always.

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  2. ashley jett-turnerJuly 7, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    Sweet Katie and Josh,
    Josh's sisters were able to keep me updated on some things. I prayed and prayed for you guys. I watched the video and sobbed, more like mourned, with and for you two. Being a new mom, I just can't imagine and are at a loss for words. You and Josh will continue to be in my prayers in all the days to come. May the sweetest Love and Peace be wrapped around the two of you. Much Love**Ashley Jett-Turner

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  3. Katie, Evangeline is absolutely stunning...just perfect. Thank you for sharing her with us. My heart aches for you sweet friend. God's presence was so evident in the pictures. This sweet baby girl has and will touch many. God bless you and be with you. Praying still!
    Jennifer

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  4. Evangeline is so beautiful, like her beautiful mother. I love the quote about her meeting her "mom, dad, and Creator" in one day. And, what love filled the life of this precious girl. The love is so evident in all your pictures...the love and grace of God, the love of your family and friends, and the love of two beautiful parents for their sweet baby girl. Amazing...

    I'm so glad you had this precious time with her...so grateful for the gift of her cry and sticking out her tiny tongue. These days are beyond hard...the missing is beyond anything that anyone could prepare you for, that is true. Unless one has walked this path, it is impossible to know or explain the aching of your heart.

    It is a beautiful thing to see your faith as you glorify God through this agonizing time...this valley of great sorrow. But, I also know those moments of being lost and just outright hurting. The brokenness and grief. And, God knows, too. When people speak of being strong...The truth is that His strength is made perfect through our weakness. Strength comes from just clinging to Him...even in moments of despair and desperation. But, you already know that, sweet friend. For you are walking it.

    You are a beautiful mother...and a beautiful family...and we are praying for all of you as you walk this path...

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  5. She is so precious and so beautiful. What a blessing she is and always will be. I am with Kelly in that I am grateful for the time and moments you had with her. You will carry those in your heart forever. May God continue to hold you close in comfort and love.

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  6. She is so beautiful, and looks like her parents.

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  7. Katie...As a mother of 2 I could never imagine what you have gone through, to hold your sweet baby till Jesus took her.Your faith and your strength have amazed me and I see His strength pouring in you. I know He will continue to heal you and Josh through this tough time. Seek Him in all you do!

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  8. Your baby girl is so precious. I am very glad you were able to spend time with her and sing to her... she is very blessed to have such amazing parents. May God continue to heal and strengthen you. I love you friend.

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  9. Evangeline Joy, what a beautiful girl. She has known nothing but love in this life and everlasting Joy with the Father. You wrote about your time with her so beautifully. I know these days are hard, but hold tight to the beautiful memories of those first moments and being present when God took her home. There is something sacred about that time. Much love and many prayers.

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  10. I'm a crying mess. Evangeline Joy is absolutely perfect in every way. I loved your beautiful post and the video was precious. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Your precious daughter has touched my heart. I loved this... "in one day, little Evangeline got to meet her mom, her dad, and her creator". So beautiful.

    God Bless.

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  11. You don't know me....I know Lisa Wilcox through Mops and I also worked for Rachel Wilcox' mom last year. (Small world) I have prayed for you lots. I'm also a new mom, and I just can't even fathom the depth of your sorrow. In the 45 minutes that you had with Evangeline...wow. Such joy and such sorrow in such a short period of time. I would love to have some amazingly wonderful thing to say that would uplift you...but as a woman who struggled with infertility for 10 years...I know there are no words in times of such absolute grief. As I read your post...all I could say was Jesus...why? For what it's worth, you have my prayers and thoughts.
    In Christ,
    Pam

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  12. it's as if God searched the earth to find 2 parents who would love, cherish, & appreciate Evangeline the way He desired for her.

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  13. Dearest Katie & Josh,
    No words or deeds can comfort you, only the knowledge that your precious Evangeline is being loved and held by the Father who loves us more than life itself. Thank you for sharing her and your journey, Jesus knows who needs to hear your story.
    My prayer is that God continues to sustain you with His peace and His presence. We love you both!
    In Him,
    Christie & Stephen Addington

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  14. Beautiful post. Tears are falling for you from a fellow babyloss mother. It's a hard road, but I'm so thankful that you have your faith. It is the only thing that has gotten me through the loss of my son, Isaac. Praying you feel his love, comfort, and grace in the days ahead.

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  15. Thank you, All for reading my latest post on EJ! You words are encouraging and have helped us out over the last few days. Please continue to pray for us as we are in the very early stages of grieving. This is so tough (as a lot of you know). God bless you all!

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  16. A beauty! I'm so glad you were able to spend time with her. The pictures are gorgeous! I count the pictures of my son Ethan among my most treasured possessions, I know you will treasure Evangeline Joy's as well. Praying for you in the coming days.

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  17. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing Evangeline Joy with the blogging community.

    Praying for peace and love for you and yours in the coming days, weeks, months, and years......

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  18. Her life was beautiful, short, impactful, and important. Thank you for letting me get to know this precious little girl.

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  19. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing little girl.... The second photo you posted made my heart skip a beat. My daughter had the same giraffe and since losing her, I have clung to that toy of hers almost as if, in a way, it is a piece of her. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and that I am sending you love and understanding of what you are facing as you journey through life without your sweet Evangeline in your arms. XOXO

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