The Adventures of being a mommy....

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Just Ask!

Boy has my mind been racing this week! Lots of thoughts and feelings flying around in my little cranium. As I mentioned last week that I was missing my little one badly with it being my due date an all, well it carried into the weekend and now this week. I do a good job not always showing my emotions in front of people. I tend to put on a brave front and then when I'm at home I have my break downs. I'm not sure that it's the best way to handle things but again I'm new at this. I told Josh this past week that I've felt down in many different ways about missing Evangeline. The one that has hit me the hardest is wanting people to talk to me about her. That's right I said WANTING! I'll get back to (me) in a moment. Two days after I told Josh what I was feeling I received a letter in the mail. It was from a mommy that had lost her little baby boy two years ago. She was writing to offer her condolences but also to share how she has been these past two years. She told me of her hurts and about moving on again (with more babies) and then she said..."my family and friends don't even talk to me about him anymore". "They don't ask about how he was or ask to see pictures of him and it hurts". I thought "Whoa, is this her or me writing this". It's both of us. Us mommies that have lost little ones are in a "club" that we didn't choose to be in. We don't care to be in. But we are in it for our remaining days on this earth. Our connection outside of talking to God and asking Him to love on and tell our little ones how much they mean to us and that we love them are our photos and stories. If you didn't know me and you saw me in passing, you wouldn't know that I am a Mom. Other then my jewelry (that you would have to get up close to me to see) I have nothing else to show for it. That saddens me to no end!

I'm sorry if I'm rambling, not pointing blame, not calling anyone out and not trying to build a platform for a soap box. I'm just asking each of you that read this blog to do one thing this week. I want each of you that know someone that has lost a child to take a moment and ask them about their little one. Ask them to see their "brag book" (all of us mommies I'm sure carry something). Take time to love on that little one's memory and just be an encouragement. And I realize that maybe not all mom's feel comfortable with people asking them questions. Just fill out the situation and go from there. Pray!!  All of us mommies that are without their child are still hurting and long to have that little one in their arms to love on. I absolutely want and miss that. Oh, how I miss that!!!

Thanks for letting me vent! Lots of Love to all of you! Till next time...


  1. I will always be open to talking about baby EJ with you! I love her and think of her often and wish I could have squeezed her precious little cheeks and told her how amazing she was and how blessed she was to have you and Josh as parents.

    Anytime you wanna go out for another 2 hour convo you just let me know! We can spend the whole time talking about Evangeline :)

    I am glad you put your feelings out there. Maybe people just needed to know that it's okay to talk about her.

    Love you!

  2. Even though I didn't get to meet her (yet!), I think about your little girl a LOT. Thanks for sharing your heart.

  3. AMEN! I feel the same way. It's rare that someone mentions Nate's name and family only acknowledges him during March (his birth and death month). Other than that, it's like he didn't exist.

    I say his name every chance that I get even if it does make people uncomfortable. I wish that we could just train society to understand us mom's in this "club". It would make life so much easier!


  4. I agree with every word of this. I too, use Isaac's name as often as possible. I don't care if they get uncomfortable. He's my son and I want to talk to him. Wish you lived closer so we could get together and gush about our beautiful children. :)

  5. Thank you, ladies! I didn't want to offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable but I just needed to get that off my chest and raise some awareness. Like we all know, it's hard anyway grieving for our babies but to also think of others and take into their feelings on our feelings can be overwhelming at times.

    Heather, your in MI, right? There's just one state separating us! We can make it happen!

  6. Its so sad but true that over time (and much too short IMO) people talk less and less of your baby. I know I wish people would talk of my Carleigh more. I love talking about her.

  7. Katie, I'm sorry I didn't say hello and ask about Evangeline at Brianna's birthday bash. I had my EJ (Elise Joy) with me, and should have made a point to come see you. Next time you come to Nashville, let's have coffee and talk about our precious baby girls!
    Bri's friend Lauri

  8. Holly, I would love to hear about Carleigh sometime!

    Lauri, I hope to meet you one day soon! We'll try to make it back down there this year. Would love to have coffee. So neat that you have an EJ too! :)

  9. Just seeing your follow-up comment... yes, I'm in MI :). If I am headed your way I will let you know!!! (Or maybe we could meet in the middle sometime)

  10. Would love that Heather!! Are you on FB? Probably would be easier to communicate with you there.

  11. Katie - sorry... we were gone all last week. Yes, I'm on FB... feel free to find me: Heather Moes :)